Why Your Team Sucks 2. Green Bay Packers. Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team Green Bay Packers. Your 2. 01. 6 record 1. Yep, you wasted another year of Aaron Rodgerss prime. You are Atlanta Braves ing him. Suck it. How do you have Aaron Rodgers and fall behind 3. NFC title game. Your coach Mike Mc. Carthy. Thats how. Hes still here, and Dom Capers is still the defensive coordinator. Until the day you people die and its coming soon Ive seen the way you eat, you will be stuck with Beav calling isolation plays with his 1. Capers orchestrating a defense that only looks good against any offense that cant play offense. I cant believe you got beaten senseless by the Skins. 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How come you never call you mother anymore, Aaron Every year, the Packers go through a rough patch last years example being a four game skid and a 4 6 start and you can rest assured thats enough to cause every last idiot Packers fan to lose their shit and wonder if its the end of an era. Go here if you dont believe me. Theyll probably still blame every Rodgers slump this year on Olivia Munn even though those two arent fucking each other anymore. Whats new that sucks LOL who are you kiddingHelp. Having problems with the forum, games or nude mods Then ask here. Sun Mar 01, 2015 329 pm. Its the Packers. They do nothing. Ted Thompson spends the entire offseason napping in a barcalounger. True, they brought in Martellus Bennett to replace Jared Cook, and they grabbed Jahri Evans to help make up for the loss of T. J. Lang, and they cut Eddie Lacy for being the weight of your average season ticket holder, but come on. Everything the Packers do is to ensure model consistency, so that Rodgers will spend another season running for his life before the team ultimately shits down its own throat in the playoffs. They cant keep anyone healthy. Half the team will spend all winter in that sideline medic igloo. The only receiver who doesnt go through Pleistocene length cold stretches is Jordy Nelson and hes a fragile little white man with hair like a seal pelt. For real, Im shocked Jordy hasnt been clubbed by a hunter and mounted on the wall of a Rhinelander log cabin. Their best running back is a converted wideout and their second best running back is an actual wideout. Theyll both get hurt and Mc. Carthy will still try to establish the run 2. The cornerbacks are abominable. Clay Matthews still has a tiny face and I hate him. YOURE NOT THOR, BUDDY. What has always sucked This is the part where, as ethics require, I must disclose that I am a Vikings fan or Vi. Queens, as Green Bay fans so cleverly put it, and that the Packers DISGUST me with their never ending, small town, Thornton Wilder horseshit. Look at these assholes These are the dumbest fans in the NFL. Its not close. Ask any other fan of any other team who the stupidest fans theyve ever encountered are, and they will tell you Green Bay. Every fan is a 3. This is the only franchise where fans have more brain damage than the former players. If youre unfortunate enough to be stuck near a Packers fan, you will be subjected to hours of cheese breath and contradicting takes about players they arent even aware are no longer on the roster. Any time the Packers win by fewer than 2. I guarantee you that Rodgers hates every waking second he has to be in Green Bay. Who wouldnt Apart from the Packers, the most exciting thing that happens in Green Bay is when the local Chilis offers a new drink special. The fans are dumber than styrofoam and the media is even worse This is your model NFL team. This is every last FOOTBALL IS FAMILY lie tucked into one fanbase and handed a stack of forged ownership certificates. This is the Notre Dame of the NFL. Every time Rodgers completes some bullshit Hail Mary goddammit, opposing teams, bat the ball down, every Packers fans may as well cry out WAKE UP THE ECHOES and jerk off into their mittens. These people think theyre magic. They think theyre SPECIAL. They think they deserve all these great quarterbacks and neat football action that theyve been arbitrarily handed by a Blind God. They think theyre the American idyll. They are not. Theyre humps. Frauds. Narcissists. SHITBAGS. They are emblematic of a very specific kind of American reverse dysmorphic disorder, where you look in the mirror and see some All American stud instead of the sad, worthless asshole you really are. Id rather cut myself than live like a Packers fan, sitting around my whole life waiting for some podunk team to do something exciting so that I can leech off their success because I myself can barely move. GO TO HELL. Im not bitter. Im not bitter at all. WHY DIDNT ANYONE TACKLE ANTONIO FREEMAN WHEN HE GOT UPDid you know Ty Montgomery started out as a wideout before the team discovered running back was his natural position. Get ready to hear that 4,0. What might not suck Nothing. Fuck you. And fuck Paul Ryan with a tree. HEAR IT FROM PACKERS FANS Nic You can straight up see in Rodgers expression how sad he is to be playing for skinny Andy Reid. Stephen WHY THE FUCK IS DOM CAPERS STILL HERE Andrew Wisconsin is the Arkansas of the Midwest, and Green Bay is its Hot Springs. Karl Our defense made Blake Bortles look like a good quarterback. Landon Mike Mc. Carthy and the Packers fan base effectively fat shamed Eddie Lacy out of Wisconsin, and that is ironic for all of the obvious reasons. Matt Their yearly rash of injuries to important players seems to stem from the fact that their training staff confuses hamstrings with ham sandwiches. Molly I now head into the playoffs wondering what new, unique way my soul will be crushed in the NFC Divisional or Championship game. Nate The Packers suck because month old tuna fish sandwiches left out to sop in a puddle of excrement are infinitely more fresh than whatever Dom Capers has cookin up, and we all know it. Aaron I cant decide if I want to write a screed against the entitled part of the fanbase that whines incessantly about not winning a championship every year, or if I want to rail against the team for seeming content to be the third best team in the NFC every year. Jesse Dom Capers. David A regular jar of capers could coach better than Dom Capers. Justin Capers has a lower approval rating among Packer fans than Trump at a Black Lives Matter rally held in Mexico. Grant I texted a couple of friends at 2 5. Sunday of the NFC title game saying Ive never felt more confident in a Packers playoff win. The game started at 3 0. The game was over by 4 0. NSP Every Packers season features about 8 life altering plays courtesy of Aaron Rodgers and a continual sense of dread on how theyre going to piss away yet another year of his prime without another Super Bowl appearance. Blade Runner Original Cut Download Image here. Zach At some point this quarterback streak is going to end and it will be all if onlys and what ifs as we inevitably go back to 8. Packer incompetence. Elijah Any Packers fan under the age of 3. At least half of these best fans in the league will bail just as soon as Aaron Rodgers leaves. Fuck Brandon Bostick. Rick Packers playoff losses just leave me dead inside. I dont even get angry.